Life is a bundle of joy, sorrows, memories and lovely people you meet in your lifetime. But some people meet and leave their fragrance and positive vibes to inspire and live your life with content. Sonali is a woman who touches everyone's heart with her abundant energy with whosoever she meets. This scientist turned full-time mother is a fine example of a woman who knows how to prioritize her engagements and responsibilities. Even after facing some challenges in her childhood, Sonali moved gracefully and did not let her past eclipse her today with some unhappy memories. She does not want to share it and neither I poked her to know more about it. She can bring lots of good changes in your life without telling you. Read her super ecstatic story of life and her thoughts on topics like women empowerment and her girl gang which she proudly calls as tribe.
Priyata: It has been a long wait. Let us vanish the wait by reminiscing your childhood memories. How was it like in your childhood?
Sonali: The earliest memories of childhood are the fun cycle races my cousin and I would have with a group of kids in the street outside our ancestral home. The brand was called Tobu cycles with a catchy Ad playing on television. Those races in the street got me the most precious friends for life. There isn’t one single memory that I can think of to share but my mind has multiple memories of the various things we did as a group together. When I see the kids of this generation, I tend to feel sad as they really haven’t known what real childhood is all about. The carefree hang out in the nooks of the lanes, fondly called “addas”, taking the entire colony by the storm with all our pranks, playing the most amazing traditional games in the streets which were more home than the real home. All good things come to an end and with me, perhaps it was a wee bit early. My growing up years were extremely challenging. I would just sum it up as a case of lost childhood without going into the details at this moment.
Priyata: Are you serious? Looking at you I just can't say you had some major challenges so early in life. Anyway as you said without sharing the details, we will move forward. How did Singapore happen to you?
Sonali: I am a Hyderabadi to the core and never ever wanted to shift base. When my parents were seeking suitable alliances, I had clearly asked my parents not to bother considering any that were based out of Hyderabad. But as things would have it, life does have a way of springing surprises. We moved to Singapore in 2002. The warmth of this place got to me instantly and I can’t think of another place which is more home than the little red dot.
Priyata: Wow. Hyderabad is a lovely city. That city has got some warmth and it is so welcoming. I stayed there for 4 years and completely loved it.
Sonali: I totally get what you feel about the city. A beautiful city with lovely people around.
Priyata: As you are full time mother but still you are very progressive as a person, how do you pull that off?
Sonali: Hmmm....Once a mother, always a mother! A mother carries a bit of her heart outside her body – in her children. So there’s never a moment in life when my children are away from my priority or thoughts and yet I have a very active social life that allows me little time for anything. The question is self-contradictory. Being a mother doesn’t curtail a woman’s progress in any way but on the contrary it makes one much more progressive in thoughts and actions.
Priyata: What is your mantra to make yourself relevant in this ever changing society?
Sonali: Frankly, I would change the word “relevant” here to “worthy”. Life is precious, short and totally unpredictable. My aim each day is make a difference in people’s lives in whatever little way I possibly can. Each person we meet is struggling with some or the other issue and fighting their own internal battles. The least I can do is be of some help.
Priyata: That is very beautiful. I was always curious to ask about the energetic aura and vibe around you. How do you manage to keep yourself positively invested in yourself after being married and especially after being a mother?
Sonali: This question got an instant smile to me as I am someone who is forever suggesting to my own circle of women to not lose themselves and their identity while taking the onus of being a wife or mother but to seek to develop their individuality, rediscover themselves and live life passionately doing things they enjoy and follow their hearts.
It is so much a part of our upbringing, especially my generation of women who were mostly taught to be self-less in marriage, to give, give in and give up. To keep others before self. In all my years since, as a woman who has relentlessly challenged this and rediscovered myself, I firmly believe that a woman who can invest in herself positively, can actually be happy. A happy woman is a better mother any day!
Priyata: Absolutely. A happy woman makes a happy mother. Totally on point. What is your take on women empowerment? I personally feel that women are born empowered and they just need direction.
Sonali: Women empowerment is such a cliched topic these days that I prefer to steer clear of anyone or anything that claims to empower women. People who talk about empowering women should first introspect themselves. The term is so often misinterpreted and misrepresented that it fails to evoke any kind of reaction from me. The meaning of empowerment here needs more clarity. To me a woman who is comfortable in her own skin, feels a sense of confidence about who she is and proud of what she does, is empowered in her own way. Women empowerment in the truest sense will happen when women feel safe in their own zones, stop pulling other women down and collectively work towards a focused goal without being judged by every other woman for every thing they do or say.
Priyata: So true. Being there for one another and stop pulling each other can make this world so much better for everyone.
Sonali: Yes and pretty easy as well.
Priyata: How did this wonderful concept of NRI Buzzar came to you and for how many years you are organizing it.
Sonali: NRI Buzzar is not my doing. It is my dear friend Shagun’s baby. She has been organizing the NRI Buzzar for many years now (more than 5) with the idea of providing the many home-based women entrepreneurs a platform to showcase their skills and products as well as bring an entire lifestyle range under one roof, making it an event worth celebrating and experiencing. I have been a part of the Buzzar since 2015 and became an active partner when I quit my full time job as a scientist in 2016. It’s been one amazing change from neuroscience research to event management and I am enjoying every bit of this.
Priyata: What kind of constructive engagement you have created for yourself after quitting your job?
Sonali: A penchant for writing, a gift of the gab, passion for animals, a bird watcher, an avid gardener, a blogger and a baker, an ex-marathon runner (how I wish I could get back), love for research, sucker for numerology & ardently in love with life. I believe life is extremely unpredictable and happens only once so make the most of it while you are here. Do it all and have no regrets!
I am passionate about connecting with people and taking everyone together. I strongly believe people will forget everything you do or say but will never forget how you make them feel and therefore I ensure I am there for anyone who needs me to a large extent. There is a lot I wish to do but 24 hours in a day are just not enough 😊
Something I composed on life, sums up everything I believe in…
ज़िन्दगी
कभी खुशी है तो कभी गम है ज़िन्दगी
भावनाओ का एक समंदर है ज़िन्दगी ।
कभी अनुभव है तो कभी सबक है ज़िन्दगी
कभी समझ ना आये वो पहेली है ज़िन्दगी ।
कभी तपती धूप है तो कभी ठंडी छाँव है ज़िन्दगी
वो बिन मौसम की बरसात है ज़िन्दगी ।
कभी गलतियों से भरी है तो कभी सही है ज़िन्दगी
सीख कर ही बनती है लाजवाब ज़िन्दगी ।
कभी ऐतराज़ है तो कभी ऐतबार है ज़िन्दगी
एक खूबसूरत सी मोहब्बत है ज़िन्दगी ।
कभी कविता है तो कभी किसी की कहानी है ज़िन्दगी
कभी पूरी ना पढ सको वो किताब है ज़िन्दगी ।
कभी जागी रैना है तो कभी गहरी नींद है ज़िन्दगी
सोच सको तो सपनो की चादर है ज़िन्दगी ।
कभी अपनो की भीड़ है तो कभी अकेली है ज़िन्दगी
मीलों की तनहाई मे एक गहरी दोस्ती है ज़िन्दगी ।
कभी मुस्कुराती कली है तो कभी चुभता कांटा है ज़िन्दगी
कुदरत के रंग बिरंगे फूलों की बहार है ज़िन्दगी ।
कभी गीत है तो कभी एक साज़ है ज़िन्दगी
सुन सको तो एक संगीत की महफिल है ज़िन्दगी ।
कभी रुकती है तो कभी संभलती हर एक से जीत जाती है ज़िन्दगी
आखिरकार मौत ही है जिससे मात खाती है ज़िन्दगी ।
कभी तुम आज़माओ तो कभी आज़माए ज़िन्दगी
खुशनसीबी से मिली है सो खुलकर जियो ज़िन्दगी ।
क्या पता कब फिसल जाये रेत की तरह ज़िन्दगी ।
क्या पता कब फिसल जाये रेत की तरह ज़िन्दगी ॥
©Goldli
If I could ever have an epitaph made for me, it would read “ She lived, She loved, She laughed, She left us with memories”
Priyata: How much your spouse contributes in your life in being you and your work?
Sonali: For me to be able to pull off all that I manage to, I owe it hands down to my life partner. It is extremely crucial to have a partner who believes and supports all the way. There have been times when my work has kept me away for hours, but I am assured for my kids that they have their father to look into their needs in my absence and he does a fantastic job at that.
Priyata: Share something about your girl gang. And do you agree if I say tha tonly self secure women have a girl gang?
Sonali: I would tend to call the girl gang a “tribe”. Women who are confident about themselves and know what they want in life and their relationships make some amazing bonds with other women, a tribe that looks after each other’s interests. No wonder they say, “Behind every successful woman is a tribe of other successful women who have her back”. So yes, a confident woman who believes in her self-worth will certainly have her own tribe.
Priyata: What role your girl gang plays in your life?
Sonali: My tribe of women, my inner circle is my source of sanity in this maddening world. They keep me grounded. During the turbulent times, they keep me afloat. These are the women who allow me to be just myself, no questions asked, no judgement passed, but a silent acceptance of who I truly am.
Priyata: What do you prefer: Perfection or Flaw?
Sonali: Hmm...Perfection itself is a flaw for it’s a perception. Perceptions differ and so the definition of perfection in my mind is a very flawed concept. I believe one needs to accept and embrace one’s flaws. While there is nothing wrong in being perfect, I believe that flaws are what make me unique. They don’t necessarily define who I am but they allow me to introspect and grow. My flaws drive me towards perfection 😊
Priyata: It was lovely. Any message to fellow women who are seeking happiness and contentment in life.
Sonali: Life is precious, short and totally unpredictable. Live, love, laugh while you are here and make the most of it. Do what you love and love what you do. No other way. There will be ups and downs. It’s ok to feel low. Just don’t stay there too long. Bounce back. Find your purpose in life! Until you are alive, your mission is incomplete! While deciphering the purpose, if you could be of service to someone, you could be the reason for the smiles in their life!
As a bright red fruit, I was picked Soaked in the bright light of the sun Until my leathery coating was removed And then I was planted as a seed
Within days, I had arrived in this world With two tender leaves and a delicate stem With each passing day, I grew a little Soon from two leaves I turned four!
Even before I learnt how to live I decided it was in service of others And so with barely four leaves of age I blossomed with a need to give! -Goldli
Happy Reading!