A chance visit to a pop-up playground in a nearby park amused me with the collection of toys. The toys were regular household trash like cardboards, broken utensils, chains, pipes, a plastic sheet and some more. And the kids made some wonderful and fun creations out of that trash. After coming back home, did my research and got to know about the organization which created the set up of the playground, Chapter Zero.
Stephanie Chalmers, Play and Marketing Lead at Chapter Zero in conversation with Quitekorner.com about the success story of the organization and how they are trying to build a sustainable model of playground and advocating about respectful and mindful parenting techniques to the adult caregivers of kids.
Priyata: What is the idea behind Chapter Zero?
Stephanie: We advocate for peaceful and respectful relationships within families. We strongly believe that investments in providing children with peaceful and secure relationships with their adult caregivers will not only enrich the children, but our whole society. Research is clear that children who exist in peaceful and secure relationships thrive physically, emotionally and cognitively. So, our goal is to support many adults who live/work closely with children so that they can provide a secure base for children.
Priyata: Whose brainchild is Chapter Zero and how old it is?
Stephanie: Chapter Zero was started in 2015 by two mums, Kasia and Shumei. They were yearning for children to have a childhood with more freedom, play, and respect so they set up the organisation hoping to make a change, with one family at a time.
Priyata: Share something about the founders of Chaper Zero?
Stephanie: We currently only have one existing founder and Director of Chapter Zero, Shumei Wistanley. Shumei is a mother of two and is also an experienced negotiator, mediator and conflict resolution specialist. When she had her first child, she realised that parents were largely parenting how they were parented, or were following the latest fads and trends, without considering the evidence and research about a child’s care and education. With that in mind, she started Chapter Zero in December 2015, with the plan that it will plant a seed in the hearts of parents, educators, caregivers and nannies.
Priyata: That is an amazing foundation stone. How did you get to know about Chapter Zero?
Stephanie: I first stumbled across Chapter Zero via the Facebook Page ‘Mindful/Respectful Parenting Singapore.’ Some of my friends from Ante-natal class here were talking about topics such as asking your child for permission to change their nappy, logical/natural consequences as supposed to punishments and emotional temperature. Respectful Parenting is style of raising your children as people. Sounds obvious, but a lot has been done to children in the name of ‘respect’ so not all parents believe respect is the same thing. I personally love this quote as it encapsulates it so well:
“Connection, Communication, and Cooperation. These three elements, when interwoven with threads of understanding, respect, and love, are what combine to create the beautiful tapestry of a peaceful, happy home.” ― L.R. Knost
Priyata: Can you share something about the team behind Chapter Zero?
Stephanie: We only have a small team, so let me introduce us all…
Li Ling is our other full-time director with one little girl and another on the way very soon! As a former MOE Educator, she is passionate about raising and educating children with empathy. As a Director, she designs and facilitates Chapter Zero workshops and has completed private consultations for parents, workshops and Parent-Infant classes.
Aletheia is our Child Development Specialist. She is a Resources for Infant Educarers®️ (RIE®️) Intern™️ for supervised teaching and evaluation of Magda Gerber’s Educaring®️ Approach. Trained as a neuroscientist, she spent a decade researching learning and adaptive behaviour. She aspires to create safe spaces and environments that offer young children the freedom to learn and shape their own experiences. As our child development guru, much like Li-Ling she also designs and facilitates Chapter Zero workshops and has completed private consultations for parents, workshops and Parent-Infant classes.
And then there is me, Stephanie Chalmers, mother of 2, trained high school and EFL teacher. Currently training in Playwork, the inner workings of play and how it enables a child’s development. I’m also now in charge of raising our profile as a social enterprise and raising awareness of Respectful Parenting and it’s benefits. You’ll often see me on Instagram sharing my parentings highs and lows, all in the name of supporting fellow parents out there!
Priyata: Cool! What are your thoughts about parenting?
Stephanie: This sounded like another world of parenting, one far removed from how I was raised so I was intrigued enough to complete a parenting course with Chapter Zero. The Respectful Parenting Workshop Series was led by Li Ling at the time and she opened my eyes to a way of parenting that felt comfortable (hard work, but comfortable), authentic and logical. I finally felt I had the information I needed on child development to understand my children’s behaviour, to communicate more effectively with them and support them more generously. As I saw the benefits of raising my own two children, I became a massive advocate for Chapter Zero, and here I am now, shouting their praises in a professional capacity as their Play and Marketing Lead.
Priyata: How is your expereince of working with the team of women?
Stephanie: I am honoured to be working alongside these women, who are determined to support others without giving any judgement about a topic that is emotionally driven such as; childhood, education, consent, parenting, and punishment.
Priyata: What is the inspiration behind this unique idea of popup playground? Why did you feel the need to create a platform where kids should be exposed to creative play?
Stephanie: The inspiration came all the way back in 2015 when Shumei and Kasia attended Marc Armitage’s Playwork Course here in Singapore. They were blown away by the adventure playgrounds and wanted to see how they could run or start one in a way which worked and was sustainable. Marc put them in touch with Pop-Up Adventure Play who mentored and guided us. I’m actually doing some training with Pop-Up Adventure Play myself and really enjoying seeing play through new eyes.
Pop-Up Adventure Playgrounds (a.k.a.,“Pop-Ups”) are public celebrations of child-directed play, best characterized by an abundance of loose parts (e.g., cardboard boxes, fabric, tape, string, etc.) and supportive adults.
Priyata: How does pop up playground help kids?
Stephanie: We believe that play is an essential part of everybody’s life, no matter their age, background, hair colour or favourite kind of ice-cream. When we play, we get to explore the world around us in new ways, and we get to be anyone and anything we can imagine. This stimulates lot of imagination and creativity among kids.
Priyata: What are the other initiatives of/by Chapter Zero?
Stephanie: Gosh, we are so lucky to be approached by so many individuals and organisations who want to work with us because they believe in our cause. From community centres to social worker organisations, and pre-schools to charities. Recently we’ve been honoured to work with Singapore Indian Development Association (SINDA) conducting workshops of respectful parenting and self-compassion. We are also working on some curriculum development with Care Corner who were looking to support families with young children more in-line with the Respectful parenting ethos. We’ve been collaborating with kindergartens about the benefits of child led play and conducting mini pop-up playgrounds.
We also conduct playgroups, private lessons and classes on ‘Parent Effectiveness Training’ which is a method of raising independent children who are able to problem solve and conflict resolve.
Priyata: How do you see technology among kids? Is it a boon or a curse? I personally find it great if as an adult we guide them to use it.
Stephanie: Technology and it’s use by children has long been debated. One thing for sure is it is here to stay, so we do need to equip our children with the skills of navigating it safely. ‘Safely’ can mean how to protect yourself mentally and physically. For me personally, as a mother of two young children I need to ensure it’s used appropriately and for the right reasons. What’s appropriate and ‘right’ depends on the day, the family dynamic and how much patience I have left in the tank! :)
Priyata: Is there any ideal childhood? If yes then what it would be?
Stephanie: Freedom. An Ideal childhood is to have the freedom to explore, take risks, make mistakes, navigate social norms and preferable as much time spent outdoors as possible. Nowadays I feel that childhood is so adult controlled. If we could give our children our trust, raise them with some great social tools and then watch them blossom. That would make a pretty memorable childhood.
Priyata: Share something about the parenting workshops by Chapter Zero?
Stephanie: We conduct workshops entitled ‘Respectful Parenting Workshop Series’ and helpers/carers ‘The Competent Nanny.’ We find workshops enable a deeper level of learning and application as we can build a safe space to share parenting/carer woes and work on solutions together. Our topics include toddler meltdown/emotions, raising a secure child, understanding play and the development benefits. We are finding a growing interest in respectful parenting and demand for our workshops is increasing. Parents come to us for a quick fix, a niggling issue in their home they want to put an end to. They leave having reflected on their childhood, their triggers and strategies for creating a more peaceful home environment because they are more effective at conflict resolution.
Priyata: How does Chapter Zero makes itself relevant where parents are pushing their kids in tuition hopping or extra-curricular activities rather than playing or imagination?
Stephanie: We acknowledge and accept we live in a world where different cultures have different priorities. Singapore is a melting pot of these cultures and we have learnt to embrace this. Adopting a Respectful Parenting approach requires individuals to realise their current method of parenting is not working for them and they want to make a change, perhaps to break the parenting cycle they were raised in. Once parents have taken this leap of faith the learning and collaboration within the family can begin. One facet of respectful parenting is to have trust in your child, if the child is not enjoying extra tuition and can express that their need for play/fun/a break is not being met, but at the same time the parent is concerned about their future grades, then the respectful parenting approach would be to discuss and come to a mutually agreed upon solution. Sounds easy right? It really isn’t, and takes a lot of practice.
You are not preaching anything right or wrong but one thing that parents must do to make childhood more lively and memorable. Your presence. Spending time with them, being with them in the moment, through the fun time and not so fun times. Your presence in your child’s life is never something you are going to regret. This sends a message of security and attachment, that you will be there for them no matter what. A secure child is a happy, confident and resilient child that can feel free to roam and come back to the safety net of home.
Priyata: Thank you for the lovely conversation Stephanie! It was lovely talking to you.
Stephanie: Pleasure is mine!
Happy Reading!