Lyla Paladugu, a calm and matured mother, whom I met through Kathakalpa. The day I met her for the first time, I loved her poised personality. I have mentioned about her contribution in Veer's love for books in my blog, Young Readers, too. I loved the way she engages her daughter with her work.
Kathakalpa is a great initiative to introduce kids to the world of books, storytelling and expressions. Read about her journey of motherhood with her 6 year old daughter Nandana.
Lyla says her biggest teaching from Nandana is to start cherishing little things and let go what hurts you in life. She says Nandana is an expert in this, if I say sorry for being rude in the morning she says “Mom you don’t need to say sorry to me I already forgot it". :)
Me: So how it is going mommy?
Lyla: It is a positive learning experience for me as a woman\human being. It’s always easier said than done. Motherhood is not an easy job. This is the only thing (I guess) we start without any formal training, we put a lot of efforts to prepare for very simple things in our lives like school, anniversary, dance programs, mehendi functions, meeting with your manager etc. but not for motherhood.
When I was pregnant I only focused on delivering a healthy baby as I had some complications but once the baby was out I realized how unprepared I was on parenting. Then I started my research.
Me: Research and all mommy....quite a lot of ground work. So how the whole experience of mommy-hood changed you as a person?
Lyla: Aahhhh….A LOT!
When it comes to parenting you should be a role model to your kids. If you want them to do something (no shouting, follow manners, focus on tasks, control anger etc.) we have to show them by doing. The way you talk and respond to different situations in day to day life including our discussions at home have a great impact on children.
First step I have taken is controlling my anger and developing my patience (may be both are interrelated someway). Next thing I worked upon is not to expect much from Nandana, the minute you start expecting from child, you start judging and that leads to conditional parenting. Here I don’t mean discipline\manners\rules but sometimes we expect so many things from children since we have taught them, we want them to be perfect irrespective of their age. I stopped these kinds of expectations for the sake of society but I remind her, what she has learned according to the situation.
Me: Great!! But am sure even you created this work space for yourself, you need that "me-time". How do you get that?
Lyla: I work when Nandana goes to school. So in the sense I work part-time. So my "me times" are normally before 6:00 a.m. and after 9:00 p.m. or when she is in her school or with her dad.
Me: So who is a good cop? You or daddy.
Lyla: Hmm...depends on the situation who is caught in it with Nandana.
We also give each other black or gold stars. If daddy gets angry for no reason or couldn’t stand on a promise he gets a black star and mama too. And this was started when Nandana asked us once “Why am I the only one who gets black stars at home?”
I am bad at using sticks and rulers to discipline children. And I don't think they are very useful too because they make kids better actors.
Me: As you said you are bad with rulers and sticks how do you punish?
Lyla: If she does not fulfill her promise then we follow home rules according to her age, such as, if she forgets then we cut her screen time, monthly toys, and fun time quota.
Me: Any mommy-hood stereotype you want to break??
Lyla: No...I opine this generation of moms have blown up many stereotypes. Motherhood is not about learning a set of rules and following them blindly we have make something that works for our family.
Me: Wow...such lovely thoughts about mommies around you. Still any piece of advice to other working mothers or stay-at-home mothers?
Lyla: Plan for the next 10 years on how to manage your time between your work and personal life. For example: If you are neglecting your health think in a long-term view. If you are not focusing on how your child is growing up think in long term view---- you will be the sufferer for ad consequences. If you are feeling guilty for not spending enough time with kids because of your work pressure, think how it will effect his/her growing up years. ☺
Me: Your favorite activity with Nandana?
Lyla: Stories! This is one of the easiest ways to grab children’ attention (at least for 10 min) without screen.
Me: Your screen time policy at home
Me: Three outfits every mommy wardrobe should have.
Lyla: I’m not the right person to suggest this (because I’m not a fashionista!) I like to wear chiffon cloths, simple comfortable cloths, when I’m with kids because we don’t need to bother about crumples.
Me: Any fitness tip to the mothers.
Lyla: We feel drained out easily (in our 30s) without regular exercises and I learned this by experience. Better to do back exercises, Simple yoga poses and strict healthy diet at least 3 days a week.
Me: I hope ladies you are reading. Take care of yourself because you are important. So how often do you travel or plan vacations after Nandana?
Lyla: Once in a quarter. We used to take short trips not more than 1 or 2 days when she was young (0 to 3 yrs.). We used to prepare everything for her including medicines, extra cloths, favorite toys etc. Here is a short video of her baby bag.
Me: Few words by daddy dearest about you as a wonderful mother.
Daddy: Believe it or not Nandana hears from right ear if I speak and she hears from left ear her mom speaks, she uses right brain if I ask her to do anything and uses left brain if her mom asks for. To her I am just a facilitator and her mom is everything else. Her parenting knowledge helps my child to stay ahead of her age group. I must thank my wife for her hard work for nurturing.
Sometimes I feel jealous seeing strong emotional connect between my wife and Nandana. I always surprise to see her as a mother, keeping her eyes open and observe the child for any emotional, physical or behavioral changes.
Thank you Lyla for being part of 6 Weeks 6 Mums and thank you readers for coming to the website and reading it. Please like, comment and share.
Happy Reading!