6 Weeks 6 Mums: Vartika

I have been trying to give a start to our (Vartika and mine) introduction as friends for this blog but whatever is coming to my mind is all the crazy stuff we have done together. I prefer that to be in our box of treasured memories which is sealed and the key is thrown somewhere in the ocean.

So let me try to give her a sober introduction. Vartika is a moderately ambitious, small town girl from Moradabad, India. She only worked so that she can follow her dream, which is EAT. SLEEP. FUN. REPEAT. Vartika is one of the most relaxed person I have ever met. We had some amazing time together before we got married from midnight birthday celebrations to impromptu short trips.

One of the most memorable one was to Narcanda, Simla, where our whole gang, Kaminey (Rascals), just decided to go somewhere but where, nobody knew. We decided our destination after we reached Punjab and told our driver, “Bhyiaji, Narcanda chaliye (Bro, take us to Narcanda).”

Another one was our all girls’ trip to Goa, where on the second day of the trip she almost drowned in the sea and when she survived we were thankful because we did not have to cut short our trip :) and her tanned look with red lehenga on her wedding was also because of our fun trip to Goa.

For this blog, we had lots of conversations on our journeys, but we also enjoyed talking about not so old days ;) which we do often. But as you know when you talk to your friends who have contributed to your life it is never enough. As she is expecting her second baby, she has to be really careful with her 19 months toddler while doing anything. So even when we were talking, I could hear a lot of conversations between mum and son on how not to trouble mumma.

Me: So how is your second inning going?

Vartika: Kya batau! (What should I say!). Mixed. Athrv is just 19 months and he is too young to understand my situation. So he does everything what a toddler of his age does to his mother. Always running around, jumping on the belly though I am careful while he is doing his stunts and wants to get carried in arms.

Me: Yes! He is very young now. Almost there girl. I am sure you will pull through easily.

Vartika: Yeah Yeah! Definitely. Just sometimes it gets difficult managing things all alone. But then I have a freedom to do things at my leisure. You know how I manage things. :D

Me: Yes, I do very well. So till now how have been these 19 months of motherhood.

Vartika: Honestly, it’s an eye opener for me and I myself get surprised by my level of patience and understanding. As a child you just don’t realize how much your parents are doing for you. The love that you feel for your baby is just so pure and you are ready to do anything for this baby from changing nappies to sleepless nights anything.

Me: Wow! So how Athrv has changed you as a person?

Vartika: So, I am no more a priority, my son is way ahead on the list now. My view of seeing life around has changed a lot, somehow limiting use of plastic, planting trees and keeping the surroundings clean makes more sense now. I kind of feel more responsible for the world around me.

Me: Hahaha! Finally. I still remember how you use to make fun of me when I used to talk about plastic ban and cleanliness back then.

Vartika: Yes, that’s why I mentioned all the social causes make much more sense now.

Me: So now you guys are in a new county where you don’t have many friends and your options to move around are also limited because of Athrv and the second one on the way. Don’t you feel stagnant as an individual.

Vartika: Well getting stagnant as a person was not my concern when I became mother because it was a whole new experience in itself. Also as I am staying abroad, somehow no one could visit us at the time of Athrv’s birth and even later. So, there was no time to think about stagnation, all I could think of was to keep my son happy and healthy.

Me: Loud and clear! This is very important when you are raising a kid that you are clear in your thoughts.

Vartika: Absolutely! It is extremely important to be happy and be at peace with your decisions so that you can flow the same energy to your kid. I took the decision to stay at home and I haven’t regretted my decision even once.

Me: So how do you unwind yourself whenever you get some time from the daily household chores.

Vartika: See you will never get time if you don’t want it. I ensure I manage my day, to do my Yoga that has helped me a lot to take up this challenging task of being a mother more optimistically. As Athrv is growing up, I socialize a bit more than before and watch films sometimes.

Also I am a binge viewer of TED Talks and invest some time in reading too. So life is moving in a rhythm and that’s what is important I think.

Me: Oh my God! Ted Talks and all. But I agree, rhythm is more important rather than a race. So who is more strict with Athrv? Amit or you?

Vartika: We both are good cops for him as neither of us is short tempered. Sometimes situations do bring out the stricter parent in us. But we try to be patient as much as we can.

Me: As you both are good cops, I don’t think you guys use sticks or rulers.

Vartika: Well I feel sticks definitely scare the child which somehow doesn’t give a pleasant feeling to parents later on when the anger is gone. Also I feel by shouting or beating a child, you are unconsciously teaching him to get angry when things are not going according to your will.After experiencing life so far, I feel those are the moments when you actually need to be more patient and calm. But rules and reinforcing those rules do help. So I would recommend rules not sticks.

Me: Same thoughts. Honestly I use my hands but that too gently. Anyway, one stereotype about motherhood.

Vartika: As much as a mother loves her child she also loves herself and does need a space wherein she could just be with herself and does things she enjoys the most. So don’t feel guilty when you leave your child with his father or someone else for sometime and enjoy a movie or party with friends or otherwise.

Me: So what is your favorite activity with him?

Vartika: I love taking him for long walks in his pram. In Ireland, the sky looks so beautiful in the evening that I can walk for even longer distances. Even the roads and footpaths are well constructed to walk with a pram. It is lovely seeing him enjoying the nature and laughing all through our walks.

Me: Oh yeah! We had a chat also while you were on your customary walks when Athrv was few months old.

Vartika: Smiling yes.

Me: Something you wish to share with new mothers to make their journey easy.

Vartika: Just enjoy your motherhood as much as you can. Do not get overwhelmed by the teachings of your parents or others about how to take care of your baby. Take help or assistance when needed. We all have made our mistakes so even you are allowed to make a few. Just stay natural because you know what is the best for your baby.

Me: Though I remember you the most for all your ill fitted outfits except the T-shirts. Still any recommendation of must have in mommy wardrobe.

Vartika: A thunderous laugh followed by, It is still the same gal! But I can always recommend:

• Nice lower to be easy and comfortable while playing with your baby.

• Sports bra because when it comes to jumping, a great sports bra is you best friend.

• Some cool T-shirts to be easy and hide those extra kgs.

Me: Have you ever traveled with him or gone on a vacation.

Vartika: See we have not extensively traveled on a vacation. But we go on a day long camping trips and beach places. We prefer to come back home. The experience is quite relaxing and entertaining for both of us.

Me: So what all you carry in your baby bag?

Vartika: It is always loaded. It has some diapers, astringent, a diaper changing mat, wipes. I will share a video of my baby bag. It looks very stylish but has all the usual stuff.

Me: How do you keep yourself fit? Though right now I am sure it would be bit difficult.

Vartika: Yes. Right now there is no routine. But I started my walks and Pilates after Athrv turned three months. It is very important to stay fit especially after giving birth to a baby, because your body goes through so many changes.

It definitely needs some care but yes don’t overdo anything at least for the first six months after delivery because your body has gone through a lot of changes.

For the first three months just relax, you can then start with light Yoga, Pilate, Swimming or walk whatever suits you and gradually build in to a routine.

Thank you Vartika for being part of 6 Weeks 6 Mums and thank you to all the readers for coming to the website and reading the blog. Please comment, like and share.

Happy Reading!