6 Weeks 6 Mums: Ruchi

The evening was beautiful as always and I was playing with my son Veer in the living room. While playing the usual police and thief game, I heard a cheerful sound from the balcony, “Dost (Friend), how are you?” I turned back and there I see this smiling woman, whom I had met just once before. Nobody can get away from that infectious smile and I could not escape too. As we were talking, I see this little boy, calling “Bittoo, I am going with Didi to play.” Confused me asked her, who is Bittoo? Because I could see only Ruchi (mummy), little boy (Vivaan), Didi (Helper) and me. None of us was Bittoo. Ruchi replied with the same infectious smile, it is me. He calls me Bittoo, that is my nickname.

When I asked her to be part of 6 Weeks 6 Mums, she gave the most amazing reply. She said, then you talk to Anup, because he is the first mother to Vivaan, I am the second. He has helped and supported every step of the way since Vivaan has come into our lives. And Vivaan knows this really well, he approaches Anup first for anything then he comes to me. As she was more comfortable sharing her journey while talking in person, so we decided our coffee date and chatted for a long time till we realized that our kids were waiting at their respective schools to be picked up.

Me: Let us grab our breakfast set.

Ruchi: Oh you did not have your breakfast? I had but still will take a Croissant and a Coffee.

Me: OK! I will have Banana Toast and Coffee.

Ruchi: Great!

Me: Sipping my Starbucks Coffee! This is nice. So, Bittoo how have been the past 5 years of motherhood?

Ruchi: Life changing.

Me: I am sure it would be. How?

Ruchi: Well let me give you some background. I was very ambitious and was doing fairly well in my career after my wedding. Anup and I were focused on our careers so we were too busy to think of having a child. But after 5 years, we thought of having a baby and thankfully, it happened.

Vivaan’s birth changed my priorities completely. I am altogether a different individual after I became a mother. Being a mother has made me much more patient, resilient, and positive in life. All these characteristics were missing from my life as an individual. I am just blessed to be his mother.

Me: That means you went through a complete transformation after Vivaan. Generally that does not happen.

Ruchi: Yes, but it happened with me. I used to be extremely preoccupied with my work and was a tough task master. Vivaan taught me the importance of being flexible. I have also started to appreciate the fact that being healthy is the most important thing in your life.

The reason is quite simple and that you will not be able to take care of your family if you are unhealthy. And this was the last in my priority list before Vivaan. As I see Vivaan growing up, I am sort of reliving my childhood with him, and I am enjoying it thoroughly.

Me: I can see the happiness in your eyes. I hope it is the joy of motherhood and not the croissant you are eating.

Ruchi: Croissant too but motherhood has made me happy forever.

Me: Well my banana toast is great too. You can try, if you want.

Ruchi: Sure. Taking quite a big portion, “Oh it is tasty.”

Me: I know but your portion was quite large. :D

Ruchi: Nevermind. I was telling about my journey.

Me: Oh yeah. You mentioned you were pretty focused on your career, and now you are a stay-at-home mum. Don’t you miss your 9-5 routine.

Ruchi: Well my routine is still 9-5 or may be even more than that, so I don’t miss that routine at all. I have seen the corporate life pretty closely and OK not to choose it over Vivaan. My day is pretty planned and I don’t have a room for any unplanned activity. Right from the time when I get up in the morning till I get back to bed at night, I structure my day in a way that it stays eventful.

Mornings are usually rushed, as I need to send off my son to school & husband to office. That involves a lot of multitasking, like getting Vivaan ready, preparing breakfast & lunch. Once these guys are off, I usually take a quick break with a nice cup of tea. As I am also a certified Yoga Instructor, I take yoga classes in the neighborhood.

On days when I don't have my classes, I am usually busy planning the class structure and schedule for my upcoming classes.

I also study a lot about yoga and nutrition online, as I am quite passionate about healthy living and healthy eating. Although I do indulge in occasional baking sessions.

I also like to work with Vivaan on his studies as well as his Taekwondo practice. I ensure that he practices his patterns and kicks on a daily basis. Evenings are usually taken up by dinner prep and an evening walk with my husband.

These are mainly the "big ticket" items during the day. Believe me there is much more to it that keeps me occupied. Of course there are some dull moments as well, but I guess that's part n parcel of life, so no complaints!

Me: That is quite eventful. But why did you think of being a Yoga Instructor.

Ruchi: May be destiny planned it. When Vivaan was 9 months, he was playing on the floor and I was sitting on the bed. Vivaan called me and I bent down to help him but I could not get back on the bed. I got a sudden jerk and it was so loud that I could hear the sound of displacement in the spinal cord.

We went to the orthopedic and I was advised to be on bed rest completely. Anup helped me a lot during that time. As I could not see myself resting all the time, I decided to work on my body and started learning Ashtanga Yoga. I worked on my voice, instructions and postures. Though due to my back injury I am not allowed to do certain asanas but I am pretty clear with my instructions when teaching to students.

Me: This is so inspiring. I hope readers are getting some inspiration while reading this. So who is the good cop between Anup and you?

Ruchi: We both are good and bad cops. We both love Vivaan a lot, so are equally guilty of pampering him. But at the same time, if he does something wrong, then we both can be equally strict with him too. We want him to understand the consequences of his actions, so we try and coach him about it. Usually when one of us becomes mad at Vivaan, the other one stays aside and doesn't really interfere.

Me: Right. Agree completely that interfering while scolding a kid worsens the situation. What is your take on punishing the kids?

Ruchi: Hmm..I am quite short-tempered and try to control my anger as much as I can. But I truly believe, when it comes to disciplining kids, I don't think there is anything like a "one size fits all". It totally varies from situation to situation, also it depends upon what the kid has done that deserves a punishment.

As I mentioned earlier, we want Vivaan to understand what he has done and what can be the consequence of his actions. So as much as possible, we try to deal with him by explaining him the outcomes of what he has done wrong, so that he understands and (hopefully!) doesn't repeat the same in the future. Sticks and canes are not required because Vivaan understands our mood pretty well so he his himself careful.

"Bechare ke saath unchi awaz main hi kaam ho jata hai."

Me: Let us jump to kind mom from strict mom. As I can smell lot of good cooking from your kitchen, what is your quick 5 min recipe?

Ruchi: Vivaan is a big foodie and especially crazy for Rajma-Rice, Pasta, French Fries and sweets.. But if it's really have to be a quick one, then it would be my homemade Chocolate Cookies, that I make using Marie Biscuits, grated coconut, cocoa powder & condensed milk. My husband loves them too!

1. Grind Marigold Cookie.

2. Add cocoa powder and grated coconut

3. Make the dough with the help of Milkmaid.

4. Roll them or slice them, whichever way you want.

Me: Wow. No need to bake. next time pass some cookies.

Ruchi: Absolutely.

Me: Any tip for other mothers or soon to be mother?

Ruchi: Spend time with your child, that's the most important. Though I know we are all very career oriented and have super busy schedules, but it is equally important to be with your kids, listening to them, answering their questions (no matter how silly they are) and talking to them. Make them feel that they matter to you.

But at the same time, don't get obsessed with them. You also have a life, so make sure you give yourself the much needed space as well.

Me: Your most fun activity with Vivaan?

Ruch: We play this game called "10 Things about Bittoo and Pinti/Vivaan you like." This is the activity played most often in my home. Trust me it is awesome and fun to listen to the answers on both the sides because it is impromptu. And secondly, Pool. That's where I guess everyone becomes a kid and we all go crazy. It's also a good way to bond with your kid I think.

Me: Pools and BBQ pits are the best things of our condominium. So what 3 outfits every mommy wardrobe should have?

Ruchi: Personally, I am more of a "Shorts and T-shirt" person, and I am at my best in them. Even when I am out with my family, I prefer shorts but try to team them with a nice top, coupled with a comfortable pair of slip-on shoes or sandals. I am very fond of long skirts too and wear them on special occasions or community get together. I also like casual jogger pants, as they are quite comfortable, especially when you are travelling overseas.

Love your body, it's the only place you have for your soul to live in. There is nothing more important than your health, because you can only take care of your family if you are fit. Whether it is taking fitness classes, yoga, Pilates, or even dancing. Just keep your body moving and pay attention to what you eat. Don't starve yourself, but eat good food in the right portions.

Me: What about your travelling experience with Vivaan?

Ruchi: Usually we take 2 breaks in a year, one is the mandatory India trip and the other one is a destination holiday. Vivaan loves to travel, and he is fond of hotel stays. As he's growing up, travelling with him is getting much easier now. He enjoys taking flights and is usually busy with the in-flight entertainment. I do carry some of his toys and some ready-to-eat snacks like chips, biscuits etc., so that he is occupied during the journey. So overall, I would say the experience is getting better with time.

Me: Great. I had a great conversation and hope you had it too. I could have carried for another hour but need to pick Veer from school.

Ruchi: Yeah! Me too but after an hour. It was lovely talking to you. I mean who talks about our journey but you designed and created it pretty nicely.

Me: Thank you but I need some words from daddy dearest too.

Ruchi: That I will share for sure.

In Anup’s words:

“Not every woman can give up career for her child, but Ruchi is an exception here. When we had Vivaan, she consciously chose him over her job, and decided to give Vivaan her full time and attention. Over the period of time, she has become extremely patient and positive, something that wasn't there earlier. In fact there are times when I get the much needed positive dose from her, and I am really thankful to her for that.

Despite suffering from a bad episode of a Slip Disk, she never gave up and fought bravely through that painful period, including a couple of surgeries. Keeping her back situation aside, she even underwent a Yoga training program and is now a Certified Yoga Instructor. The way she has balanced our child, her health, her ambition of becoming a Yoga Instructor, it is amazing. Seeing her doing all this makes me really proud of her. I have the utmost respect for her and of course, all the love for her.

Thank you Ruchi for being part of 6 Weeks 6 Mums and thank you to all the readers for coming to the website and reading the blog. Please comment, like and share.

Happy Reading!