“I have the best sister in the world. But she is a bit crazy and scares me sometimes.”
Recently I saw trailer of the film “Patakha”, and it brought back some memories of my sister and me. Though we were never that violent but we were not as sweet as Nisha and Jiji of "Hum Aapke Hai Koun..!" too. We had our share of mischiefs, fights, quarrels over clothes, footwear, bags, and whatever comes to your mind. I clearly remember her strategic move to hijack all my clothes when she visited home from her hostel every month and how I always loved to tag her along with me to my friend’s birthday party or any get together I had to attend if she was in town.
We always loved our discussions and company. And now also whenever we are together we try to sneak out for a while with kids and engage ourselves in those super secret sisterly talks. For this blog series, we sacrificed some of our daily bitching sessions over WhatsApp calls and discussed her journey as a mum. Due to her busy schedules, we did our conversations while she was on her way to office and while talking I realized that Delhi traffic and roads are still the sameafter years.
I heard some people saying during our conversation, “Mademji! Roket chala rahi ho ya gadi.” (Madam, you are driving car or rocket), which my sister obviously ignored. Brings back so many Delhi memories. :)
Though we both know our journey as a mother but in the running around of life, we tend to forget our own journey and with this she got to reflect on her own journey and discovered few more things about herself and about being a mother.
Me: I know, we know about each other completely. Still in hindsight, how has been the whole journey of 7 years of motherhood?
Nalini: The journey is tiring, exhausting, demanding yet loving. I truly believe my babies are blessing to me. They have taught me so much and helped me to grow as a person. I am reliving my childhood days once again with my kids. Both of them remind me so much of us as kids.
Though I have also gained lot of strength and have learnt to be patient with them. I am thankful that I took the decision to be a mother quite early and did not wait for too long.
Me: You have gone patient! News to me. I have not seen you ever like that.
Nalini: Shut Up! I have become patient with kids not with you.
Me: Sounds far Better. :) What changes you see in yourself as a mother though I can't find many.
Nalini: Even I can’t find many (loud Delhi laugh on both the sides..no not the Renuka Chowdhary one). But some major ones are that I love kids now because I have no option. And you know how I used to hate them before I got married. Secondly, I was a cleanliness freak, which I have totally given up now. No point cleaning up the mess because no matter how much you clean the home, kids will make it dirty. So I just focus on basic cleaning now.
But with my kids I have learnt to be perfect in imperfect situations and patient in the most horrible conditions. And now I can handle quite a number of kids at the same time, but only for an hour. After that I forget I have kids. ;)
Me: So how do you engage them? I see them at home most of the times.
Nalini: Yes they are at home on weekdays but sometimes Pramod takes them for a swim or a run to a sports complex near to our home. When I am home then I sleep, dance and cook for the family. And I also think television is a great help for me. Though we ensure they are watching some educational videos or cartoons but I use it a lot. Sometimes we surprise them with an Ice Cream treat after dinner and they love it. Both of them love dancing so we just play the music and they are busy for an hour.
Me: Your office is very demanding and I think both the kids have accepted it very nicely.
Nalini: Yes. my role as a Law Officer is very demanding and both my kids have accepted it happily and Pramod supports me too. Without his support this job profile would not have been possible. He ensures that he comes back home on time if I am stuck in office for some critical work.
Me: Amidst hectic office hours and demanding school homework, how do you get some “me-time”for yourself?
Nalini: It is very difficult. But when Pratham, my son, was born, I was not working. Still it was very exhausting as the whole experience was new. I had many sleepless nights till he was 5 months old. So I used that time to apply all the beauty hacks and packs on my skin. But I never compromised with my studies.
I continue to study even during and after my kids were born. That was the only way to crack difficult government job interviews.
If you ask me about “me-time” then there is no "me-time" for me, when I can just sit and relax. Whatever I have to, I do it with the family now.
Me: Yes I have seen that phase. Anyway who is the good cop between you and your husband?
Nalini: Clearly, I am the bad cop and he is the good cop. Kids know this without any doubt.
Me: Just wanted to ask did you stop using sticks or rulers? You have tortured Vibhu (our younger brother) a lot.
Nalini: No I have not. I use them often while getting their homework done. I just can't do without them. I find them better than using my hands. But Pramod is opposite. He does not believe in any kind of punishment. We both balance it out. Just to remind you because of those sticks only, Vibhu cleared his exams.
Me: Yes! It is very important to balance it out else kids will feel threatened all the time :).
Nalini: Excuse me! I just used sticks to discipline them not to make them feel threatened.
Me: Okay. As you love cooking, what is the most cooked food in your kitchen?
Nalini: Laccha parantha, aloo/paneer parantha, vegetable porridge, and French toast. They are the most common ones in other kitchens too, so recipe is basic.
Me: Any mommy tip to new mothers or working mothers who are reading this blog.
Nalini: No. Every mom is doing and giving the best to her kids. So just go ahead with your own style and stay calm (which I often forget). We all are good enough to understand our kids and make them happy. But for working mothers, it is very important to prioritize their tasks and minimize their home chores.
Me: Outfits every mommy wardrobe should have.
Nalini: Well to each his own. But it is good if your wardrobe has:
A pair of stylish pyjamas
Some cotton T-shirts to pair with jeans
Gowns as they are flowy and easy to wear.
Scarfs and Stoles are great for traveling.
A comfortable pair of heels and flats too.
Me: Thats all! How often you travel with them?
Nalini: I travel with them often but most of my trips have been road trips. Both Pramod and I find road trips more comfortable with kids as we have loads of stuff to carry with two kids. Sometimes we travel with our in-laws too so car trips work best for our family. Our Swift has taken us to some beautiful destinations in Himachal Pradesh, Uttranchal and Haryana.
Me: Yes I know about your car trips. All pictures are broadcast directly to me through WhatsApp.
Nalini: Not at all. We always do it either on our way back or when we reach home. We don't have to report you about our outings.
Me: Peace. Let us hear some good words about Mommy from Daddy dearest.
Pramod: Nalini is a strict mother. She ensures that kids are disciplined and well behaved. Though only some people know that she is vibrant too and brings a lot of excitement in our lives. If she does not push me, I will not make a first move to go out of the home. She is a great cook too and makes some delicious food for the whole family whenever she finds time.
Despite her demanding and challenging profession, she always manages to explore new things for kids and never fails to attend the meetings at school. She considers all the feedback given by the teachers and also share with them how they can help the kids to improve the overall performance. She is a perfect mom for our kids if I don’t consider her scoldings and rulers.
Me: That was quite a long one brother.
Pramod: Yes I think the same ;)
Thank you Nalini for being part of 6 Weeks 6 Mums and thank you to all the readers for coming to the website and reading the blog. Please comment, like and share.
Happy Reading!