One chirpy girl next door. One coy cute looking boy. Same University. Same class. Same year. But they never talked, but the boy always wanted to talk. And as always, the girl knew that the boy wanted to talk. One fine day, the boy mustered up the courage and asked her for a coffee and the chirpy girl said OK. And they never looked back. Sounds like a film story??? But it is not. This is the story of two beautiful and wonderful people, Michelle and Jack, who are married for 11 years and blessed with 3 kids who are as wonderful and as sensitive as their parents.
Michelle is mother of Kaitlyn (8), Liam (5) and Hannah (1) and an English Literature teacher. I forgot to mention about Zuma, their dog, who is always on the lookout for mum Michelle to save her from her siblings.
It is a beautiful and bright Saturday morning.I slide the balcony door to get some light in our living room and sit with a hot cup of coffee pondering over our options for the weekend. Veer has just realized it’s a no ‘play area day and the ‘sheriff’ is happy patrolling the street on his little scooter.
Then I hear a voice calling “Äunty Priyata, we are here to bathe Zuma and Mushi together.” This is Kaitlyn who loves being with dogs. But as it is dog bathing day Liam follows her too. They both love to pretend to be zookeepers while bathing the dogs . After a short while,Michelle follows them too with her laptop and baby bag to give them a dress change as both of them bathe too with the dogs.
Me: Thank you for coming over!
Michelle: Pleasure is all mine. Kids are busy, I will get some time for myself.
Me: Yes. Sure! Some coffee?
Michelle: Hmm..Green Tea for me. No sugar please.
Me: Sure. Here is your hot green tea. Sip it. So how is the experience of being mommy to these three angels?
Michelle: Hmm..So far so good. I would say that the experience of being a mother can be compared to a miner who digs for gold; when he finds the treasure, it is pure bliss; it is not without sacrifice and hard work, but that cannot be compared to the joys of motherhood.
Me: Agree totally that the joys of motherhood are incomparable. But it is taxing and demanding too.
Michelle: Oh yes it certainly is. One might also say that it is “bittersweet”. The bitter times perhaps come from those times when I had to carry my babies to sleep when they fell ill and I had to go to work drenched in vomit because it was too late for me to change out; also those sleepless nights when I used to watch the sunrise with my babies were somewhat memorable.
The “sweet” times though, are endless compared to the bitter times, of course. The adorable tooth that breaks forth from your baby’s gums, her first step, her hugs and kisses, the look of adoration on your baby’s face when you carry her to sleep, her first laughter, her curious questions, the times when you walk hand in hand with your child to her first school-all those precious memories can never be replaced in a lifetime.
Me: So true! The look of adoration is the one that makes me guilty the most. Still any regrets till now in your journey?
Michelle: There have been no regrets having each and every one of them and I believe that each one of them has been “wonderfully’ and “fearfully” made by our creator from above.
Me: True. They are. I just love the way you manage your own troop. But were you like this always or motherhood transformed you overnight?
Michelle: To be honest, I a free spirited individual and I think motherhood has changed me to become a more responsible and conscious person. After becoming a mother, I am more aware that there are other lives that depend on me. I have become more careful and thoughtful about the decisions I make; knowing that it has an impact on my children, husband and those that depend on me. One wrong, hasty decision could affect my child’s life and for many mothers, that is not a sacrifice that they are prepared to make at the expense of their children.
Me: That was quite a heavy one baby. Let me drink some water. Would you like to drink some water too?
Michelle: No no..am good. Just some more hot water in my cup. But I would like to mention that is not to say I have lost that free spirited nature- it will always be part of my character and I express it in different ways with my kids such as running in the park, enjoying nature and loving our adventure theme parks.
Me: Exactly it is just an extension of your personality. One more thing I was always curious to ask about your work life balance as you have mentioned to me that you love your work and always look forward to your school and students.
Michelle: Well, that is a tough one to answer. It’s not easy finding that right balance but often, a lot of prayer gets me through those tough times when tiredness, stress and fatigue overwhelms me and I just feel like I don’t even have a sap of energy left for my kids. I think there are many mothers out there that I take as my source of inspiration too. But like I said, prayer for strength, for the determination to read to my children a story each before bedtime is the least I can do for them every day.
At least they get to have those precious 5 or 10 mins with me before they close their eyes to dreamland.
Me: So sweet! Definitely they deserve many more infinite minutes and hours with you. But how do they manage to spend time with their dad because I have seen how busy and committed Jack is towards his work.
Michelle: I think Jack makes up for it by whatever way he is able to. I respect his work and dedication towards it and I do not want him to compromise on that at all. I just love him more every morning when I see him waking up early in the morning just to ensure he can drop Kaitlyn off to school so that he can spend some time with his eldest girl.
For Liam and Hannah, I guess they are too young but still we have our weekends reserved for us with him.
Me: Oh Yeah! I know your weekends are busier than your weekdays with all the fun activities lined up for the family. So who wears the bad cop jacket between Jack and you?
Michelle: None of us. We always try to be on the same plane when it comes to discipline. It doesn’t work when one plays good cop and the other the bad cop. Kids are smart! They will know how to exploit your weaknesses! I think parenting is a whole new ball game; a challenging one for that matter; both parents have to be in agreement as to how to discipline their kids and for what reasons.
Spoiling our child is definitely not what we subscribe to. Bad manners and disrespect is another no no for us. Of course, kids will always be kids and they do not always behave well; but as parents, the important rule here is for us to be consistent and firm in our discipline towards our kids.
Me: Great thought. I never thought it that way. So do you think rulers and canes are helpful in disciplining the kids? If you ask me, in India we are pretty used to our mothers’ canes and rolling pins.
Michelle: Haha! In my home it is a common sight too. We do use rulers and canes. But we try not to use our hands to slap or smack our kids. Of course, caning and rulers are used on those parts which do not hurt all that much-the buttocks! They are used as more of a deterrent against bad behavior.
Me: Wow..sounds so familiar to me except that our mothers used her canes and rolling pins anywhere and everywhere. :) Anyway any stereotype about motherhood that you would want to break?
Michelle: There is an adage that many subscribe to: “That once you become a mother, you lose all your freedom.” I think many people see parenting as some sort of a burden; there is a belief that one has to pay a hefty price to become a parent. That is nothing further from the truth-you can enjoy the process of parenting. In fact, if one sees humor in the many crazy things that our kids put us through, there is a lesson to be learnt through each episode of tiredness, heartache or argument that you might have had with your child.
Me: You have won my heart for this woman! Go on..I want some more positive vibes.
Michelle: I think I have grown much wiser and more able to deal with impromptu situations than I have ever been after being a mum. I still get to enjoy doing the things that I do with help from my parents and my husband and sometimes I share my passions with my kids and it is a joy to see that they enjoy the things I enjoy doing.
Me: Right! Being a mother changes your perspective totally. Recently you had a vacation in Korea. How was the trip? How did you manage with the kids?
Michelle: In few words, It was great and we had lots of fun. Hannah had a great time playing with piglet.
Me: I know that. Brief me about the fun and how often you guys travel with the troop.
Michelle: OK! I have traveled with my eldest girl when she was 4 months old. We went to Malaysia for a road trip and we traveled with my son when he was 2 months old-again, to Malaysia for a road trip. With my last child, we took her on a trip only when she was 10 months old to Korea. From my experience of having traveled with the elder two, I would recommend travelling with one’s kids only after they are 6 months old if you can help it! They are a bit more independent then and would have already been on semi solid food which makes the milk feeds less frequent!
They would also be less pooing and peeing so there isn’t a need to change their diapers so frequently. Oh yes, one tip is, do not bring diapers along your trip. I realize that very often we can save on luggage space if we just bought diapers and milk powder from the country we are visiting.
Me: Awesome! Even I have traveled with Veer from very young age and it was great. Little discomforts but overall memorable. So what is cooked most often in the kitchen for kids?
Michelle: Salmon Teriyaki Fillet with Pasta and Broccoli.
Me: Oh! Tongue twister for me :) Recipe please.
Michelle: It is easy breezy girl!
Just salt the salmon half an hour beforehand, add some teriyaki sauce to it and put the salmon in a toaster for 10-15 minutes and there you have a healthy salmon fillet for your kids! Boil the pasta macaroni for 10-15 mins with the broccoli, add cream sauce and add the cooked salmon on it for a healthy meal for your kids!
Me: Your favorite activity with kids.
Michelle: Swimming at our condominium pool and baking. I think swimming is a great way to relax your children and it brings a smile to their faces! It also makes for great bonding time- with 3 kids of different ages, it is often hard to find a common activity that satisfies each of them individually; swimming keeps each and everyone of them occupied and helps them get an exercise too!
Me: Yes, I see them at the pool often and happy too. I hope Veer will join soon.
Michelle: Pretty soon girl. Even before you know it.
Me: Complete the sentence: Every mommy wardrobe should have…….?
Michelle: I think if you have a baby and you are breastfeeding, you need to have a few button down tops/ nursing tops. They are so convenient especially when baby can’t wait for his/ her milk. The other outfit that mummy should have is a sexy black dress-on days when you just want to feel yourself or when you are out with your husband! Lastly, a mummy’s wardrobe definitely needs to have comfy lounge pants on those days when you want to feel comfortable and relaxed but still look decent!
Me: That was too long..but good to know that I can rush to you for a black sexy dress. :)
Michelle: Anytime! But be careful it is the only one I have.
Me: Some more tea or coffee?
Michelle: No no. I am okay and have to leave for now. Kids are already at the pool now.
Me: Sure and thank you for being part of 6 Weeks 6 Mums and sharing your journey with all the readers.
Michelle: You are welcome!
Happy Reading!