Vandana is a doting mother to two beautiful girls, Manjari (9) and Aditi (5). She loves being with her family and ensures that she is always standing next to them through thick and thin. Her elder daughter Manjari Shukla is a YouTuber with 415 followers. Despite her flourishing career as HR Manager, Vandana chose to be a full time mother as the couple thought that kids need her more than an organization. She wants to raise her daughters as responsible and educated citizens who can help the nation in every way possible.
Her decision to leave her job in Dubai and settling back in India without any hitch talks a lot about her personality and priority. Read about her journey of motherhood and how her kids have changed her perspective towards life completely.
Me: Hey! It is lovely to discuss your idea of parenthood and your journey as a mother.
Vandana: Thank you! Yeah I would love to share my journey with so many people out there. Experiencing it everyday is a different thing but when you think about it, I am sure every woman can amaze herself by her strength.
Me: True! How it has been for you in the past 10 years.
Vandana: Being a mother of two beautiful daughters made me realize the value and importance of my mother. I would say it is a journey without any destination. I have to keep striving to be better than the day before. Motherhood teaches every lady compassion, patience , self-less love for children.
Me: Yes, it transforms you completely from within. Did you experience it?
Vandana: Oh yes! Before my elder daughter was born, I could say things used to revolve around just me. I was always thinking about myself and my priorities. But after being a mother, it is about them now. Be it buying clothes or having an ice cream. A mother just thinks about their kids. My daughters are my reason to stay happy, healthy and calm.
Me: Very beautiful. What difference you find between you as mother and your mom?
Vandana: My mother is an ideal for anyone who wants to be a successful mother. I am very different from her right now but I aspire to be like her as I grow as a mother.
Me: What is the most striking attribute of your mom you would like to pick up?
Vandana: My mom is a homemaker and all my moral and cultural values I have learnt from her. Her teachings have made me what I am today as an individual. She has taught me that kids don't do what you teach them, kids do what you do. I always try to ensure that my actions are always valuable and in the right direction so that my daughters can learn from them.
Me: That's so right that kids copy their parents completely. You can tell some more about your mother.
Vandana: I can go on and on about her. There are many things that I would take from my mother. But one thing that I just want to pick is her ability to cook at any time of the day for kids. She loves to cook different cuisines and so tasty that you will prefer her food over restaurant. If I ask her today also to cook my favorite dish , Matar Panner, she would say " Hann bas tees (30) mins main ready karti hun." This is the way she reacts to everything one wishes to eat. I have never heard No from her.
I try to do the same with my kids and now my kids also know that mom can make anything.
Me: This is so nice. Now one thing you don't want to take
Vandana: Her habit of eating after everyone finishes the meal. Though I know, that was her choice and nobody forced to do that but I don't want to carry it forward.
Me: How often you spend time with yourself?
Vandana: Well, It’s difficult to take out time for own self. I don’t really sit down daily and think on my daily tasks.
But while wearing so many hats, I always look for opportunities to improve and learn. I believe each day brings a new learning that eventually helps you in being a better person.
Me: How and when did you decide to be a stay at home?
Vandana: I was a full time working mom till 2017. But there were some instances that made me realize that I should be with my kids at home rather than working in office.
Me: If it is ok can you please share those instances.
Vandana: Definitely! My routine was very hectic from sending my daughters to school, attending office and back home by 7 in the evening. Sitting with my elder daughter to make her finish her homework and at the same time preparing for dinner, taking care of younger one and then put them to bed by 9:30. Though I was always supported by my husband and in laws. But when I was home, kids wanted to be with me. This routine made me irritated, frustrated and tired as I was not giving undivided attention to my daughters.
Me: Yeah I understand that guilt feeling. It takes so much time to go from mothers.
Vandana: Yes. I still remember the days when my elder daughter used to say “Mama why are you getting Irritated?” While staying in Dubai , we hardly had any social circle. My daughters were more involved with tablets and television as they didn’t have anything else to do and lack of parent involvement.
I also wanted to make my children learn the importance of staying together. They should love and respect the grand parents and extended family members that I wasn’t able to give them in Dubai.
I was working as HR Manager and had many responsibilities that made me work late night and sometimes on Saturdays too.Then my husband and I gave a thought to this and decided that our daughters need more time from me and we shifted back.
Me: I think you made a sensible decision and it worked for the complete family. How and when did you decide to be the motivational speaker.
Vandana: When I returned to India, I decided to work only for 6 hours a day, which means I should be back home when my kids come back from school. As an HR, I was involved with with counselling, mentoring, motivating, training many employees. This helped me to be a Motivatinal Speaker. Parent Counselor is also my forte as being a parent has taught me so many things which I want to share with the society. And I truly believe that knowledge sharing is knowledge gaining.
Me: How invested you are as a mother in your kids daily routine?
Vandana: I think I am 100% invested in my kids' routine. I have invented a point system for my kids that define their whole day and make them more responsible citizens. I believe that kids of this new generation are .blessed with smart intelligence. They don't have just teachers and parents to teach them. They have YouTube and other technological mediums too.
Though to ensure that YouTube and mobile don’t occupy the most important place in their life, I keep myself completely involved with my kids.
Me: What your day looks like vs what is your ideal day?
Vandana: Well, the thought of ideal day has not crossed my mind for a long time now. All my days revolve around my kids, my work, and my family. For me ideal day is a balance of everything.
Me: You are raising two beautiful girls. What basic things you want to teach them about gender equality?
Vandana: I always teach them that God has made Boy & Girl for a set of responsibilities and we should not fight for that. What is important to know is respecting both the genders and having a mindset that both are needed by the society. I believe that children learn more from observing us than preaching them. So, in our home we ensure that every member of the family is doing household chores and we are professionals at the same time. I work as Counselor, my sister-in-law is a Gynecologist and my mom-in-law is a You Tuber at the age of 72 with 16000 followers.
Me: Oh wow! This is so inspiring. You shifted your base from Dubai to India recently, what major challenges you faced as an individual or rather what changes your kids faced as they were born there.
Vandana: Though, my kids were brought up in Dubai and we have spend around 10 yrs in Dubai but my kids always loved to be with their grandparents. The challenges faced were majorly from hygiene, school infrastructure, security, and traffic, but my kids were happy to be back. And now they have grandparents to take care of them and cousins, friends, neighbors to play around. I am happy their screen time is almost 0. They are learning the importance of family bonding.
Me: Do you agree that daddy’s role is as important as mother but due to lot of marketing mothers take the limelight.
Vandana: Dad is the hero. A family need a breadwinner and a homemaker too. This is to be decided by both husband and wife who is going to be what or roles can be shared partially. I do agree that mothers are taking the limelight.. And that’s the mother’s responsibility to make the child realize that father is a hero too.
I always tell my kids that Papa is big umbrella and he is protecting us from everything. But this protection is out of love and care & not because of authority.
Me: That's so true. What was the turning point in your life when you thought ‘Oh my life is going to change now and how you balanced it out.’?
Vandana: I never thought it this way. I accepted the changes as they came. We get adapted to the situations. When I was not married, I was a free bird. Then got married, then HR Manager, then mother, then assigned with responsibilities of being a Corporate Trainer and now a Career Counselor. Life has given me many roles to perform and at the same time it has taught me how to perform them well. And I am able to play all the roles so well because my husband supports me a lot.
Me: Great! May you continue to prosper in your personal and professional life with abundant love from the friends and family.
Thank you for taking your time out and talking to us.
Vanada: Pleasure is mine. And thanks to you too.
Happy Reading!